The Gift to be Simple

Today I practiced some new things in my morning schedule, that daily thing we do from when we open our eyes.

Sometimes I just forget who I am.

Do you ever feel that way?

I was refreshed today as this wonderfully awkward process is chugging along.

I have learned so many liberating things that have continued to build my character and stance in Becoming.

I think some misunderstanding and even perhaps a bit of religious judgments made. Well I am right where I am supposed to be. Healing those very deep lies that few practice the courage to heal. Makes it sound so dark and gloomy but ya all tell me that you don't hide some wounds that have an impact on who your heart tells you you really are.

The garden is all tucked away for the night.

A wonderful supper of Spanish rice with home grown zucchini diced fine and left a bit crunchy added in.

Some basil also. That is cut back for the frost bit it hard. I had to hang all of the cloth on line to dry.

We lost the rain water for a pipe came apart in the system, I think it was just and oversight on Steve's part.

I have had an absolutely lovely day.

That tending me first in the morning really set the stage for a progressive morning of parenting.

We had extra time to even do a bit of the Esteem Booster questions on security.

The kids opened up and shared their minds a bit.

LOVED IT!

So many accomplishments around here inside and out.

The master bedroom with all clean linens.

Pictures hung more to my liking and candles at the tub.

You know that called for a hot bath this evening.

ME>>>taking time to just take a slow bath?

Mercy! this could really catch on

:)

Today as I was ...I danced

I am going to do my best to explain the things I am learning and just hope that folk don't misunderstand and think I am far from God.

Oh No we are just walking this thing out together.

Gods ways are higher than ours.

I have lived with some pretty non scriptural religious ideas of what I should be like or able to do.

Lord knows I did my very best to follow those ideas to the letter, trying to be a good believer.

Those Pharisee things that just don't much lift a finger to help really.

They become more of a thumb pressing down to keep you in check all the while that heart of yours is saying I'm a faking it tell I make it...I must be doing something wrong is the lie.

NO maybe ya just need some practical help to understand what stops your ability to do so.

It is my hope that the honesty and transparency will remove stigmas and assumptions from the "church" community as to what it might look like to become.

It is not by pure belief

WE HAVE TO WORK IT OUT FOLKS

Now if your working it out and ya think that folks...

other believers, might think your faith weak or less than do not let that stop you.

There are so many who lift that finger and add the hand reaching out to lift ya up.

You who do not know Christ

know this His love is not like those rulers who set lots of rules on folks and then sit back and condemn them when they do not think or pray or believe themselves out of their chains.

Loving Christians truly do add a heart not only full of prayer but also practical solutions that just perhaps nobody ever bothered to tell ya.

You speak up ask and if there is any shame placed on ya for doing so Dear Hearts just you shake it off.

His peace is within the storm.

This life is a storm that only He can calm the waters of.

When your strength gains up and the next gale blows know you did not cause it, there is a battle going on.

It has been against you from your first breadth, satan-evil-darkness- the war began a long time before the beginning of time as we know it.

God wins, that's the good news the hard news is that you been on one side or the other.

Those folks who raised you were one one side or the other.

Even when on Gods side the trickster can so easily circumvent lives by simply twisting truth, lying so folk don't even know whats right from wrong.

So many casualties of childhood walking around in grown bodies just really trying to make folks proud.

Can't even find a safe place to risk being humble.

Left not even knowing who they were intended to be.

Feeling like you just really never belonged anywhere.

Stumbling at every misson you set your heart too because your wounds sabatage your efforts.

Leaving you feeling incompitent at life.

That is the intent, the mortal wound.

Hope this is always a safe place to be...

Hope that you can be yourself, unashamed, unabashed, true heart even if wrong willing to turn round right and come on down to where ya ought to be.

I am becoming free from battle scares of my childhood.

That does not make me a victim, a weak unbelieving Christian but a warrior for Christ.

tis' a gift to be simple tis' a gift to be free

tis' a gift to climb down where we ought to be

and when we find ourselves in the place just right

twill be in the valley of love and delight

ya know...?

Good Morning

good morning I have posted over at A Life Restored this morning and am off to tend the garden and the chickens Hope you all have a good day

Sweet Sunday

Hello Dear ones

Did you have a good weekend?

Today was both a wonderful day and a tough day.

Upon awaking I spend several hours on the floor in the bathroom.

This happens sometimes when allergies hit hard.

My belly swelled up so that I looked pregnant.

Too much wheat and the latex thing weekend me too.

After sleeping a while on the floor a shower and a tearful prayer refreshed me.

I had to get up

for there was a birthday party Dash was invited too and I was going to take Dove with me and pay for her entry. Inch by inch with coaching from Steve too I made it.

This was a big deal to everyone and I was iffy if I could do it.

I listened for the coach in my ear to press on and on.

The children were so happy to go for it was at a very wonderful place called Amazing Jakes.

Oh they have everything! Rides an open extensive buffet, games go carts, bumper cars.

Only Dash tried rock wall, there is also black light paint ball, goofy gulf, carousel and the list could just go on and on.

It is a very expensive place to go. With Dash being a paid for guest it was right and doable to take Dove.

It was $9.99 for just the open buffet and $18. for buffet and all the rides you can for three hours it also included $5. on the card for the token games..

They had a ball. Dove got to drive little brother in the go carts.  It was wonderful, Dove did a pass in a driver maneuver passed a teenager! I wish you all could of seen it.

I was able to relax and let the children do the buddy system.

This is a bit new for me so I am relaxing and letting them have space.

A sweet lady did a post about a fearful mothers effect on her blog and the issue with the kids at the school pointed out that I must pull back more to let them develop more of a sense of safety and self.

I am doing it. That was the tearful prayer.

I see all these parents who do not even check up on them and so a balance,

they need to have a touch stone. I will never tend to ignore them but I was not panicked the whole time either.

We made it home at 4:30 I went straight in and got some soft clothing on and went to bed and slept up until 7p.m.

I am a wrung sponge made able to get through the day with pleasure in motherhood.

It was a wonderful day.

That latex thing really set me up.

Man I need to chill for a few day.

My deep thoughts lately have been a real treasure in the progress of becoming.

They are very humbling and tender.

So if I seem distant in my blog it is that tenderness guarded until my feet are firm in what I am learning.

Above all standing firm in the faith, in His Love.

Steve was able to get a quiet four hours of work done for the job that cam in last week.

He actually had the house alone.

I would appreciate any kindness of prayer for I am not feeling too well yet and it really was a lot to ask of my body. I did not give up though.

A good day

Good Evening!

So here I finally sit to say hello.

This last few hours spent creating a necklace for myself out of an old center finding my mother gave to me many many years ago. Tonight I took the time just for me to assemble something for it.

 While I was beading my cold toes were gifted a heater by sweet husband.

Well today was a full day.

Doves BFF and her mother came for the day.

It was so wonderful to see Dove so very happy.

I really enjoyed the relaxed company of her mother.

She has become a close friend.

We took a garden tour to take off the blankets in the warm of the day.

Look at those tomato!

 

 But alas by the end of day all was covered over again.

 

 Last nights freeze hit the basil the worst and got the cap of the blue lake green beans and a few of the leaves on the contender beans.

 

 I have had these long yardages for a long time even thought to discard them so glad I kept them they are just perfect to save the garden

 

Our golden loves oranges...she was so happy to get to play with the kids

 

 as was the chocolate

 

 bff

best friends for life

dove is 12 the other is 10

 

Oh how the kids played and had a wonderful time.

Her mom made a video of the brawl.

It was a lot of fun.

well off to visit all of you.

I know I am not real talky right now. I have a lot of deep thoughts steering and so I let the pot simmer as it were.

Please remember my sister in law

Her father was found dead on the floor by her younger adult sister this day.

It is a hard thing to be sure.

Thank you for your Kindness.

I will share these deep thoughts when they are better flushed out of what I choose to believe of them.

We have not because we ask not...(sometimes we ask amiss)

This time it was given so sweetly!

So here is an answer to build up my sweet man. He sometime ago rebuilt this computer I am on and it is more than twice as fast as his. Now he is the one who makes a living on His machine but as he is he always wants to give me the best and this was the slowest machine in the house before its rebuild.

My husband "grandfathers" the machines in the house. He is always giving his computer talents to others who are in crisis and yet he runs a dinosaur.

So having four house computers is because he salvages the old parts and we are often given the old parts of those who he helps.

He has longed to improve Dash's  computer because it is the real cripple of a computer that can take several seconds per image. He researched getting a new video card but the unit in so old that it is hard to get parts.

After a lot of research it was concluded that it would really be best to upgrade the parts in his machine (in the future we can get more memory and it could be added as finance allows)

I told Steve to list and research and price out the parts shopping as if...So he learned what he needed to fix his own computer and then pass his parts over to Dash.

Totals and items identified we then prayed.

The next day a man gave him an expensive part, another man at work sold him a part at a real low cost.

That evening a call came in and the fellow that he does part time work for needs some things done (income).

We do not spend income we have not received. Last night we felt impressed to go ahead before the parts are no longer available do to supply and demand. He ordered the parts. We had hopes for a Christmas bonus but expected nothing.

He came home yesterday and had been given his written review with the highest of complements the review was awesome.

Today...he got a bonus only $80. short of the parts order he made last night.

He has excitement in his belly and it is a real joy to see. With the discipline we have been under we have let go of those extra wants. This becoming a need was really important for with the Christmas break he will have several days he is forced to take off.

Time to rebuild the machines and to do the part time work being supplied us.

Thankful Thrusday

This day has tested me.

I was able to get into the dentist directly after dropping off the kids at school.

While having the dental work done I began to have a bit of trouble breathing opened my eyes and there in my mouth LATEX!

"Latex! I exclaimed and she quickly pulled her hands out of my mouth, I grabbed my albuterol and gave myself a squirt. Wipes off my face then went and washed my face. Then she gave me a tooth brush and I brushed the latex off and out of my mouth. Took another squirt. Got out the epi pen in case.

She felt so awfeful for it is yes on my chart and all it was her error and oversight.

The think I am most thankful for is this.

Recently my thoughts have been on my selfhood.

Just who am I?

Once we got the latex off me we spoke.

Telling her that I make mistakes and that she should just see my dirty laundry.

Laughter came up in her as she sat really upset that she had put me in harms way.

A mistake.

I told her that the one time that I really ever got angry about it was when I had had the implant and that other doctor blew me off and did the surgery with latex gloves and I had to come out of anistia and have the double fitigue of the latex effect.

"I would be angry too" she said.

Yes, I told her but I chose to forgive him for if not the consequence would be worse than the latex.

A hard heart.

I told her the ship wreck of a hard heart as I witnessed so many times is so devastating.

I comforted her. She was saying NO I Should be apologizing to you.

I accept it and told her "it's alright , I will be alright and as many times as I have come to this practice it is amazing that it has not happened before. We all make mistakes.

There was no charge.

I left to go home and stopped to get some ribbon I needed and saw a calendar for $5 and I really need one.

The calendar is on praise.

INSIDE the calendar was the hard card stock

upon that cardboard that is usually a thing to be tossed...

was this

Just think, You're here not by chance, but by God's choosing.

His hand formed you and made you the person you are.

He compares you to no one else-

You are one of a kind.

You lack nothing that His grace can't give you.

He has allowed you to be here at this time in history to fulfill His special purpose for this generation.

Today was the perfect day to get a calendar

I visited my sweet friend over at Tea with Tiffany

This is what she posted today

click here to see

We all face many giants.

I am so glad for the cheering sections along the way.

Blind folded.

The coach is there.

Don't give up he screams in my ear.

I have felt like I just cant keep going

It's too hard.

The weight is too heavy.

I thought to compare on the way to the dentist and thought of the shame of it for my life has so much ease when I think of so many others without the privilege.

This reminds me though that we all face different giants.

My lips are numb from the latex and I feel week.

The tasks are high.

I love the song that is the inspiration for this blog.

Don't worry mother, it'll be alright
And don't worry sister, say your prayers and sleep right
It'll be fine lover of mine
It'll be just fine
Lend your voices only to sounds of freedom
No longer lend your strength to that which you wish to be free from
Fill your lives with love and bravery
And you shall lead a live uncommon
I've heard you anguish
I've heard you hearts cry out
We are tired, we are weary, but we aren't worn out
Set down you chains, until only faith remains
Set down you chains
And lend your voices only to sounds of freedom
No longer lend your strength to that
Which you wish to be free from
Fill your lives with love and bravery
And we shall lead a life uncommon
There are plenty of people who pray for peace
But if praying were enough it would have come to be
Let your words enslave no one and the heavens will hush themselves
To hear our voices ring out clear
With sounds of freedom
Sounds of freedom
Come on you unbelievers, move out of the way
There is a new army coming and we are armed with faith
To live, we must give
To live
And lend our voices only to sounds of freedom
No longer lend our strength to that which we with to be free from
Fill your lives with love and bravery
And we shall lead...
Lend our voices only to sounds of freedom
No longer lend our strength to that which we with to be free from
Fill you lives with love and bravery
And we shall lead a life uncommon

Can you relate?

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

 Are you ever just a bit tired, overwhelmed and worn around the edges.
I needed this passage this morning. Last night the kids had skate night.
An hour or so before we left I hid my forehead on an oak piece of work with a sharp edge.
Thank God I did not lacerate my forehead. Then while enjoying a candy cane a broke the temporary crown on my tooth.
When sweet Dash came to me to help him get his skate off, he kicked me yes...in the knee... with the brake of his skate.

The principle is iffy and I mentioned to him that the nemesis of Dove forced Dash in the girls bathroom and felt blown off.
Then I saw Dash's old teacher from last year...well lets just say that relationship is lacking mutual respect.
My readership is so way off that I am surprised to see anyone still reading.


My husbands faith is shaky and so that covering feels week. Reality is becoming a daily factor where once I had an ideal that kept me "pie in the sky", now it is a sweet "this is MY life".


I have more laundry to catch up on than any of you could imagine.  The dishwasher did not work right yesterday. A good 3 cups of my home grown beans will be given to the dogs this morning and so the work of the garden was left unappreciated.


Kids are up now....


In all of this however....


I know that God is strong in me.
He makes me able.
He blesses me.
My faith is not iffy even if others doubts swirl around me.
It matters most what GOD thinks about me.
My reality if a GIFT from God.
The tooth well it will get fixed this morning and I can hope, hope for mercy that it will not become and expense.

Heads up New Virus attack

The newest virus circulating is
The UPS/FedEx/DHL Delivery Failure.

You will receive an email from UPS/Fed Ex Service along with a packet number.
It will say that they were unable to deliver
A package sent to you on such-and-such a date.

It then asks you to print out
The invoice copy attached.

DON'T TRY TO PRINT THIS.
IT LAUNCHES THE VIRUS!

Pass this warning on to all your PC operators
At work and home.

This virus has caused Millions of dollars
In damage in the past few days..

Snopes confirms that it is real.  

                                 http://www.snopes.com/computer/virus/ups.asp